jeudi 30 juillet 2009
mardi 28 juillet 2009
I'm reasonably new to this, but I need to vent on a regular basis,
so anyone is free (with proper means) to read.
I welcome all and wish the of best luck with your goals, with ana or not.
To start, today I'm still sipping my strong cup of organic earl grey from
this morning. It should last me at least an hour or so more, if not longer.
I live with my boyfriend, and he always is giving me a hard time and
suspecting me of "stupid diets" when he sees what I eat. He tries to
tempt me with sweets and fats. When we aren't together, I pretty much
don't eat, and if I have a bad craving, I usually do one of the following;
drink water, watered-down juice, coffee, or tea, and if it is very bad,
I have some fruit or a small amount of carottes rapées.
When we lunch or dinner, I only eat as much to avoid suspicion,
and always turn away as much food as I can.
I accept that I am in the low-mid normal range for my body,
at 20.7 BMI. But I want to lose more. Just a tad below underweight,
so I want to get down to 18.3. It shouldn't be too hard, normally,
but it is hard when I always have someone double-checking what I
eat and telling me that they "love my body".
My boyfriend actually really dislikes the skinny skinny look, though I
don't intend to go below 100. That isn't my goal, and for my height, I
don't think it would honestly look that good. I don't have a belly, and
I can already see my collar, ribs, and hip bone well. I just want to be
pleased and confident with how I look, which I am not at the moment.
C'est tout simplement.