vendredi 25 septembre 2009

strange new low.

I've lost a few pounds recently (I've gotten back to my lowest weight in over a year....), though I have probably gained the few pounds I lost back to be honest, and I feel like I have reached a new personal low mentally.
I notice when I am most depressed I lose weight, even if I feel like I have ballooned. It seems like everytime I step on the scale, I feel as if I know the numbers have jumped, but in reality, I've lost a kilogram or two. It's really weird. Recently, I had been eating badly or so I thought for myself, and I lost enough to break me through a mild plateau. I guess I tricked my body, but we'll see the next time I weigh in.
Anyway, it's a good reminder to stay on track.

So, do you ever have a problem in a relationship that you can sometimes be okay with, then sometimes be upset about? I say this, because it seems like sometimes I am so depressed that I make little mountains out of things that normally shouldn't bother me.
To be honest, one of these days I just may start taking anti-depressants if it keeps up. I've had a nervous-depressive problem since I was a kid, and I've always told myself I'd never take pills to sort myself out, that I'd want to deal with myself on my own (I don't like the idea of messing around with my hormones just to put me into a better, artifical mood). But I feel like it is becoming a problem I can't deal with anymore, and it is taking away from my relationships with people I care about. I won't start anything soon, but I'm not against it anymore, I don't think. We'll see, maybe I won't find a pill I like, who knows.

Had a small bowl of organic (or Bio(-logique) in France, it's the equivalent) honey cereal with Bio lait écrémé (organic non-fat milk). The roof of my mouth is so sore, the part where it connects to my nose, in the inside of my mouth. Maybe from smoking? Though I don't breath smoke out from my nose when I smoke..... not usually, at least.
I feel good otherwise, though everyone I know seems to be getting sick, especially where I work. Not a good sign. I'd love some coffee, but I feel like it is going to aggravate the roof of my mouth. Ergh. Coffee anyway.

I've been wanting to take some photos for my blog, so you can have an idea of my favorite areas around town, and perhaps some funny things I see from time to time. I think it would do me some good, and I'd like to somehow thank you guys for the support you've been giving me when I've been having days where I wished I weren't living.

Thank you guys again. À bientôt.


2 commentaires:

  1. Hello.
    oh, I'm totally different than you. When I'm really down I always gain weight. But I'm glad that you're being able to lose weight. That's awesome!
    Hum, when you're depressed every little thing bothers you. I think you shouldn't take any kind of medications without seeing a doctor first. I did that and started taking medications on my own... and well, it was a HUGE mistake. I got addicted to those pills, my humor is never stable and the situation just got worse. Now I take pills that were prescribed by my psychiatry (except the amphetamines, that I keep taking on my own). So, see a doctor, you wouldn't want to regret later.
    I would love to see some pics here! :)
    I really liked your blog, I'll always visit you.
    have a great sunday.